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[chasedthestars]

It shouldn't matter.

He's seen the holo a thousand times, maybe even tens of thousands. It's burned into his brain - he could close his eyes and see each individual lock of hair, each dimple in their happy faces. He knows exactly what it looks like without looking at it at all, but it's not here, and Jim's punched a jagged hole in his bedroom door before he even realizes that he's angry.

He leaves the house with an aching hand and a crunch of boots over dry, red earth, fingers clutched tight around a single faded photograph. He has one holo, one, of he and Sam and their mother. One holo of them smiling like a family, Jim's face small and round with youth and no trace of George but for his eyes, Winona Kirk's arms around him and a smile like he can't remember seeing anywhere but this holo, and now it's...

Looking down at it, Jim fights the urge to spit into the dirt. Now that holo has been ripped from his PADD, replaced instead by a wrinkled piece of paper, the colors about as vibrant as a piss stain, and their clothes - even their clothes have been altered from army brat red to gingham and leather, and Jim's had enough.

This place has taken his ship, his friend Ishiah, and now his fucking family photo, and he is done with sobriety for a while. Pushing through the doors of the closest saloon, he figures he might just be done with consciousness, too.

[ooc: one of those public privates? if your pup feels up to dealing with an angry captain in a dangerous mood, feel free!]

Comments

[chasedthestars]

"Him, yeah." It should've been the harder thing, standing across the breakfast bar, eye to eye with a face that's supposed to be more than decades gone, but it'd been easier to speak to Thor with every word exchanged.

"He's got a beard, different hair, he's a god. It's not easy to confuse them. Her..." Jim shakes his head. "Don't think I will."

[wizard_errant]

Dairine just nods. She doesn't even know what she'd do if somebody showed up who looked like her mom and wasn't--probably cry, and then be embarrassed and pissed off about it.

"What's your mom like?" she asks, her eyes straying again to the photograph and the woman in it, with her arms around her boys.

[chasedthestars]

"I don't know." The words are out of Jim's mouth before he can take them back, his eyes wide like he wants to, but of course he can't.

"She's been off world for...it's been a long time since we spoke," he says after a moment, licking the whiskey from his lips. "I have postcards. She's busy. Smart, you know? High in demand."

[wizard_errant]

So if his dad died when he was born, and he doesn't know much about who is mom is except for somebody off doing a hard job somewhere else--"Who raised you, then?" Dairine asks, before she can really decide if there are better questions, or better ways to ask them.

[chasedthestars]

"Oh, she did," says Jim, "I just mean lately." It's not the best time to realize he's been saying that for a good fifteen years.

"I mean," he says, trying to correct himself, protect her, "I saw her growing up. She raised me and my brother, we split time with other family and a couple stepdads."

[wizard_errant]

"A couple?" Dairine looks slightly stricken, if only because she can't envision her dad getting married again even once.

"That...would take some getting used to," she says, like she's tasting the words. "How about your brother, d'you talk to him?"

[chasedthestars]

"Sure," says Jim, "kind of the same thing, though, he's been off world for years. We talked more before he met - " And here Jim's voice goes floaty, "Aurelan. Can't blame him, though." His smile is fond. "If I had a wife that pretty..."

[wizard_errant]

Dairine grins; no matter how grown-up you get there's an inherent obligation in being a younger sibling to make fun of any and all romantic attachments the older one gets into. "You've been off running around space too, though, right? Can't imagine you're all that easy to get ahold of."

[chasedthestars]

"Less than a year," says Jim, but he's still smiling. "But you're right, I'm in demand, too, now. Very busy and important. Or I was."

Jim snorts. "Now I wear chaps."

[wizard_errant]

Dairine snickers. "You say that like it's the worst punishment in the world. I'd have more sympathy if I hadn't spent most of December in a corset."

[chasedthestars]

"Fair enough," Jim concedes with a lift of his eyebrows. "I guess you're doing better this time around, even if the collars seem just as likely to strangle you."

[wizard_errant]

"Strangle, maybe, but they don't crush your ribs quite the same way," Dairine shrugs. "If you don't feel convinced, I bet I can still find a corset and lace you into it."

[chasedthestars]

"You see," says Jim, pointing, "this is why we're friends, you know all the right ways to give Bones a heart attack. But I think I'll take your word for it. Every time I think I've got the hang of my own clothes, I end up choking myself with a bolo tie."

[wizard_errant]

Dairine's grin grows, spreading across her face. "See, I was kidding before, but now I think this is something that should happen. My camera's gone all antique, but it still works. We can do a whole photoshoot. You've totally got the legs for saloon girl."

[chasedthestars]

"Man, kid, you have the devil in you," Jim laughs, sounding appreciative of all things. "It's a promising idea, but I'm not sure I know how to explain it to anybody that might walk in on us."

[wizard_errant]

"Really?" Dairine counters, laughing, her eyes narrowed appraisingly. "You've never had to talk yourself out of anything like that before? Because I'm not sure I believe you...."